The ego is taking longer to die than I had hoped
Public Key
npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Profile Code
nprofile1qqsrg7rm7yxu03ty5936xpcj54s5kjspkpvt403egsuajk2fa0efmnspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsa4whyf
Author Public Key
npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Show more details
Published at
2024-08-02T11:59:23Z Event JSON
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"created_at": 1722599963 ,
"kind": 0 ,
"tags": [
[
"alt",
"User profile for Kensho"
]
],
"content": "{\"display_name\":\"Kensho\",\"name\":\"Kensho\",\"username\":\"secessio_plebis\",\"displayName\":\"Secessio Plebis\",\"picture\":\"https://image.nostr.build/209d42f5d64320befb0055dba4df0580b11ff9bfd4a1790de3de17851f8075ba.jpg\",\"nip05\":\"[email protected] \",\"lud16\":\"[email protected] \",\"about\":\"The ego is taking longer to die than I had hoped\"}" ,
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Last Notes npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho I considered quitting nostr. I considered just creating a personal (real name) account and dropping this one. I considered converting this one to my real name. Ultimately I deeply fear rejection. A deep sense of worthlessness. Of feeling hated. I've seen hate here pointed in my direction. Having been told I "add no value" by a certain user, it caused a wonderful agony. For that I'm grateful. Self hatred. The part of the ego that cannot be overcome, but must be embraced. I've said some dumb stuff on this profile. I also feel attachment to some profound moments I've recorded here. Even if it's just screaming into the void. Oh what to do. #asknostr npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho I've got two kids under 3, a full time job and a mother in-law. I dgaf about what a relay is or does. Make it easy to choose like vpns: add-block, malware, spam, porn... npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho We have two kids at home due to schools being under staffed. Teachers are sick... Mean time we're paying 30% more this year to last year for the kids' education while my pay risise was 5% GFY, I'm staying home. #nevent1q…6un5 npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho The feminine urge to exclude yourself from 50% of the population rather than going to therapy. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho I cannot let go. It's not me that can do the letting go. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho Negative vibes are a poison. Avoid those who have not learnt to see their own beliefs for what they are. Self hatred. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho OK. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho Hey I'm following this hash tag. You're coming into my house with your pain story. You wanted the attention. Here it is. Hello. Everything's perfectly managed in the unborn. Or GFY, whatever lady. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho Ok npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho Have you awoken from the dream of separation? npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho It's because it's true. You never change. You never become "more". You are. The thought of you is not you. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho "To be" anything is the illusion of a mind that has mistaken its fantasies for the real world. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho Strike has made pretty much any other KYC platform obsolete imho npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho A wall of doubt. An unfathomable chasm of fear. A rage so primal it has no words. There is no violence at its core. Its before action. Its before thought. Unbearable ringing in my ears. Nothing is happening. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho The phrase "no one is going to save you" hits hardest when you realise, through direct seeing, that you dont exist. That you are literally no one. That we all are one and that we are all no one. "No one" is all of us. We're all on this rick together. We are this fucking rock. We are life as one. There is nothing to save. We're already here. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho Firstly, Thanks! It worked but only after I removed the [" "] that come in the copied text. Perhaps you could implement a quick check and removal of them from the string in a future update. Cheers! npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho https://image.nostr.build/189bef3bc6828bff3b1dead988a984031c39c3058205200b129b84999f52e43b.jpg npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho @nprofile…l3vp I've had a pending (send) transaction since July... It's stuck! How do I recover it? npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho Happiness is what remains when thoughts are seen for what they are and fall away. It's our base existence. It's not a state or a point of view. It's when they too are seen as illusions. npub1x3u8hugdclzkfgtr5vr39ftpfd9qrvzch2lrj3pem9v5n6ljnh8qjxuj00 Kensho I used to be an athlete at international level. Now I'm older I have injuries I will never recover from but can only manage. 2024 has been a year where it all finally caught up to this body. It was a gift. Running again. Calisthenics. Yoga. A lifetime of sport has given this body the ability to ramp up surprisingly quickly, even now in middle age. Finally I can train without anger. Without ego.